Loving Annie Page 4

  Annette stopped ironing to study her daughter. “Then I’ll be praying you can show that family God’s love, so they’ll remember He’s real and learn to love Him again.”

  Chapter Seven

  Coren paced his office. “She defied every one of my rules, Kat. Every one. Ava told me everything. She even led the children in prayer knowing I wouldn’t want her to do it.”

  “I pray over the food at every meal, Coren. You haven’t stopped me.”

  “That’s because I can’t stop you.” Coren shot an annoyed glance at his sister.

  “She’s trying to do right by them and you know it.”

  “We’ll find another teacher.”

  Kathryn didn’t back down. “Then I’ll be packing my bags and joining Everett in Tennessee.” She spun on her heel to leave the room. “You can inform her of your decision tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder.

  Coren growled and dropped onto the chair. He felt like he was being bullied into doing something he didn’t want to do. The rational part of his mind knew both women were correct. The children needed to play outside. They needed schooling. The older ones were too old for naps.

  They need to pray. I always prayed with them. They need to know God. You should be teaching them about Him.

  Coren could have sworn he heard Sarah’s voice whisper the words. They were true, either way. Sarah prayed with them. When she was alive, Coren prayed with them every morning and every night because he wanted to teach them about God, not because Sarah made him.

  Ava had eagerly pointed out everything the teacher did to break Coren’s rules. But Vivian had been the opposite. She’d gushed about the teacher, how nice she was, how much fun they’d had learning what the teacher taught them. She’d shown Coren her school paper — row after row of barely legible letters and numbers and she’d remembered every sound they made. Maybe he was wrong to hold such a tight grip. Maybe if he relaxed his control of their every move, things would get back to normal and he would stop worrying about them every second of every day.

  No, that would never work. If he kept them inside, made them sleep more, made sure they were never exposed to outsiders, he could keep them safe. He could keep anything bad from happening to them.

  Panic rose in his chest at the thought of what could have happened to them outside today. His chest tightened. He struggled for each breath. Was he dying, too? Was he leaving his children fatherless? He put his head down on his desk and sucked in one labored breath after another.

  “Are you all right?” Kathryn’s startled voice came from the door.

  A moment later, Coren felt her hand on his shoulder. He struggled to sit up, but black spots danced in front of his eyes and he laid his head back down.

  “I’m fine. I can’t seem to catch my breath and my chest is tight.”

  Kathryn rubbed his back and waited for his breathing to slow. “I made you a cup of tea.”

  Coren winced. The cup of tea meant his sister wanted to talk to him. Again.

  “Kat, I don’t feel like talking right now. I’d appreciate it if you’d respect the decisions I’ve made for my children.”

  “You aren’t thinking clearly, Coren. You haven’t been since Sarah died.”

  “You mean since I killed her. That’s what you’re thinking. Say it.”

  “I’m thinking no such thing. No one is. It’s not what happened and you know it. There was nothing you could have done to save her that night.”

  “I could have gotten here sooner. I could have taken her to the hospital. They would have operated on her. She could have lived.”

  “That may be true. Everything is clearer when we view it in hindsight. That night, you made decisions based on the knowledge you had.”

  Coren groaned. “It wasn’t good enough, Kat. And I can’t lose anyone else.” He sat up and gripped her hand. “You have to promise to help me.”

  Kathryn took a keep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. “I promise to help you, but I don’t promise to coddle those children and treat them like they’re fragile. They aren’t. They’re strong like you and like Sarah.” She opened her eyes. Her firm gaze met Coren’s. She pulled her hand free and walked around to sit on the couch. “But that wasn’t what I came here to talk to you about. Ava is defying the teacher. I know you are aware of her attitudes. Today she took it too far.”

  “Ava is the one who informed me of everything the teacher did wrong. She’s the only one backing me up in this house. A ten year old girl. It’s shameful, Kat.”

  “I don’t even know you anymore, Coren.” Kathryn swept to her feet and out of the room for the second time.

  Coren followed her to the kitchen with his teacup. “What do you want me to do about it?” He spoke to her back.

  Kathryn continued to bang pots and pans as she put them away. When she finally faced him, her eyes were flashing and her jaw clenched. Coren had only rarely seen his sister this angry.

  “I want you to be a father to those children,” she snapped at him. “Teach them right from wrong. A child should never defy her superiors like your daughter did today. Since you won’t do anything about it, I will. And when it comes down to it, I’ll be taking those children outside to play every day, even when you’re here.”

  Tightness gripped Coren’s chest again. He dropped onto the closest kitchen chair, clutching his shirt. He gasped for breath. “You can’t…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

  A moment later, Kathryn was next to her brother, searching his face. “Coren, what’s wrong? Are you sick?”

  “You can’t do that to me. You can’t put them in harm’s way,” he managed to gasp.

  A tear slipped down Kathryn’s cheek. “I’m not putting them in harm’s way, Coren. You are. You’re teaching them to be angry and afraid. You’ve never been afraid of anything in your life. It hurts me to see you that way now.”

  “I can’t stop…” The tightness prevented him from saying more.

  “You can, but you won’t. Listen. I really do need to join Everett in Tennessee. I was hoping this governess could be a transition for you and the children. I was hoping you’d relax and let someone else help you watch over them and love them. They need her, Coren. So do you.”

  Coren had relaxed enough to be able to breathe again. “You make it sound so simple. It isn’t that simple.”

  “It is that simple. Why don’t you sit in on the class tomorrow? Watch her with them, see how she handles them. If you see any problems, you can dismiss her, no questions asked. But I think you should give her a chance.

  “I can do that,” said Coren, hesitant but relaxing further.

  “While you’re at it, maybe you can put a stop to Ava’s defiance.”

  Coren heaved a sigh. “That’s easier said than done.”

  Chapter Eight

  Annie tried unsuccessfully to stop her hands shaking. She stood before her class of four students feeling like she was giving a practicum in teaching school. Dr. Winslow loomed behind her in the doorway.

  “Does anyone remember what we do first?” she asked.

  Ava rolled her eyes, but Ezra raised his hand. “We say the pledge and pray.”

  “Very good, Ezra. Would you lead us in the pledge?”

  They said the Pledge of Allegiance. Annie lowered her eyes and folded her hands to lead in prayer.

  “Papa doesn’t like us saying prayer,” said Ava.

  Annie lifted her gaze in time to see the girl’s smirk. Danny shifted uncomfortably on his feet and Ezra glanced from Annie to Dr. Winslow. Annie took a deep breath before she spoke.

  “Ava, that’s enough of that,” came Dr. Winslow’s low voice before Annie could utter a word. “You need to mind your teacher.”

  Surprise, embarrassment, and disappointment flickered across Ava’s face in quick succession.

  “Mama used to pray,” said Ezra. “Can I pray before school today?”

  Annie’s heart felt like it would burst. Tears sprang to her eyes. “Yes, Ezra. I’d love i
t if you would pray.”

  “I want to pray, too,” said Danny.

  “And me,” said Vivian, tapping Annie on the leg.

  “We’ll take turns,” Annie promised. “Tomorrow Danny, the next day Vivian.”

  “Does Ava get a turn?” asked Vivian.

  “Only if she wants one,” said Annie.

  But Ava was staring at her hands and refused to meet Annie’s eye.

  When prayer had been said and the children were settled at their desks, Mrs. Gwenneg brought Darren into the room to play. Annie helped the older children, while keeping an eye on Darren and Vivian, ever conscious of Dr. Winslow’s watchful gaze.

  Darren fussed and Annie reached for him as she’d done the day before. She bumped into Dr. Winslow reaching for his son.

  “I’m sorry,” she said and stepped back.

  “Papa, Miss Annie puts Darren to sleep for his nap. She’s good at it.”

  “I don’t know if I’m good at it yet. I’ve only done it once.” Annie smiled at the little girl.

  To her surprise, Darren reached chubby arms for Annie.

  “Looks like you’re good at it,” said Dr. Winslow, handing his son to Annie. “I’m here to observe. I want to see how you do with all the children.”

  Annie nodded once and took the baby into her arms. He snuggled into her shoulder and sucked his thumb. A few minutes later, after a diaper change, he was sound asleep. Annie kissed his tiny cheeks before she placed him in his bed.

  Vivian waited at her desk. “Now it’s my turn to do school, Papa.”

  “You decided to teach Vivian.” Dr. Winslow stated.

  “Yes. I thought Mrs. Gwenneg told you.”

  “Vivian showed me her school papers. Is she old enough?”

  “She’ll be four soon and she wants to learn. I’ll teach her as long as she’s interested in what she’s learning. She picked up her letters very fast yesterday. I don’t expect any problems.”

  ∞

  The telephone rang, calling Dr. Winslow away. Annie tried not to sag with relief when she learned he wouldn’t be watching them all afternoon. He appeared in the doorway, hat and coat in hand, while they were tidying the school room before lunch.

  “I understand you took the children outside to play yesterday.”

  Annie took a deep breath and faced him, ready to stand up for herself. “Yes. We did. The weather was beautiful and I felt our time was wasted indoors. We won’t have many more lovely days this fall.”

  “Yes. Well. And you’ll be outside with the children? My sister said you were with them the whole time.”

  “I’m their teacher. I’m happy to play with them outside. Yes, I’ll be with them.”

  Annie could see the anger and fear flicker across his face. “You won’t let anything happen to them?” he said, voice calmer than his face.

  “I will do everything in my power to make sure they stay safe.”

  Dr. Winslow met Annie’s gaze. She could see the anguish deep inside him. She watched him take one ragged breath, then another. She stepped closer to him. “Dr. Winslow, are you all right? Do you need help?”

  He shook his head as one ragged breath followed another. When he spoke next, it wasn’t to Annie. “Ava, I want you to play outside with the other children. You need the sunshine and exercise as much as they do.”

  Annie gave him a sad smile. She could see how difficult it had been for him to speak those words. ‘Thank you’ she mouthed and nodded.

  He stared at Annie for a long minute, his eyes pleading with her to take care of his children. Then he turned and left without another word.

  Annie faced the children again. Ava stared after her father, her expression unreadable. The girl’s shoulders sagged and she dropped into her desk chair.

  “Ava, are you okay?” Annie asked.

  “Yes.”

  “It’s time for lunch. Are you ready to go down to the kitchen?”

  “I’m not hungry,” said Ava. “I don’t want to eat.”

  “You can discuss whether you eat or not with your aunt. But you need to come down with us.” Annie could hear the boys clattering down the stairs already, Vivian hot on their heels.

  “You’re not my mama. You can’t make me.”

  Annie sighed. “I’m not trying to be your mama. I’m your teacher. You need to come downstairs now.”

  “Or what? You’ll tell my papa on me? Like you did about everything else?”

  “It was the other way around, Ava, and you know it. You told your papa on me. He’s the one who decided to do things the way your aunt and I prefer. And yes, if you won’t eat, I’ll have to talk to your father, because he wants me to watch you and make sure you stay safe and healthy.”

  The girl let out a noisy sob and buried her face in her arms. Annie stepped closer to Ava and rested her hand on the girl’s shoulder while she cried.

  “He doesn’t care if we’re safe or healthy. He doesn’t want us to die like Mama. He never does anything with us anymore and he’s never at home.” Ava finished on a wail.

  “I’m sorry, Ava. You’ve lost your mama and your papa all at once, even though your papa is still around. But think about it from his perspective. He lost his wife. The person dearest to him in all the world. He’s probably in so much pain, he’s having trouble feeling anything else, even love for his children.”

  Ava’s sobs quieted. She lifted her head. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “He needs you to be understanding for a while,” Annie continued. “He needs to know how much you still love him. He needs you to be a help to your aunt and to me. You’re the oldest. You remember your mama the best. You can help the others remember your mama by telling them about her.”

  Ava’s face collapsed into a grimace as she fought off another round of tears. “I’m forgetting her, Miss Annie. I can’t remember her like I used to.”

  “The others can help you remember.”

  Ava hiccoughed a couple times and swiped at her eyes. Annie pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and offered it to Ava.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Annie. I’ll try to be a better help. I was so angry Aunt Kat decided to get a governess. I didn’t want anyone else in our house. Everyone else likes you except Papa and me, and you’re so nice, I can’t keep hating you.”

  Annie laughed. It bubbled out of her before she could stop it. “I wouldn’t have considered myself nice after everything that happened yesterday.”

  Ava gave her a sheepish grin. “I was the one being unkind. It wasn’t you.”

  Annie reached for the girl. Ava responded by leaping into Annie’s arms and squeezing her around the waist. Annie couldn’t believe how similar the sensation was to when Darren snuggled close to go to sleep. She hugged Ava tight, stroking the girl’s hair away from her forehead.

  “Are you ready for lunch?” she asked after a couple minutes.

  Ava nodded against her chest and Annie smiled and pressed a kiss to her brown head. “Then let’s go. Your aunt is probably wondering what happened to us, but she can’t leave the others to check.”

  Ava giggled, her face wearing an expression more appropriate for her age as she dashed down the stairs to the kitchen.

  ∞

  Annie stopped at the five and dime on her way home from the Winslow’s that evening. She had a tiny coin purse she’d been squirreling away for months, a penny here, a nickel there. It wasn’t much, but she thought it might be enough to buy Ava something that would help her remember her mama.

  She searched the shelves of stationery until she spotted what she wanted — a lined school ledger. She paid, and tucked it in her bag to have ready for the next day.

  ∞

  Annie and the children stared out the window. Rain streaked the glass and left large mud puddles in the yard.

  “We could do the calisthenics your father prefers,” Annie suggested.

  Everyone groaned, even Ava.

  “I want to play outside,” said Danny.

  “We all wa
nt to play outside, Danny,” said Ava. She heaved a dramatic sigh. “Let’s do the calisthenics.”

  Annie led the children through the routine on the chart Dr. Winslow had given her. By the end, they were in such fits of giggles they couldn’t do the movements, and Danny and Ezra were wrestling on the floor.

  Only ten minutes had passed.

  “Now what,” said Danny, sprawled on the floor with Darren sitting on top of him.

  “I don’t know. What do you suggest?” said Annie “I have to put Darren and Vivian to bed in a few minutes.”

  “We could play with Mama’s button box. She used to let us string the buttons on rainy days,” suggested Ava.

  “That sounds like an excellent idea,” said Annie. She collected Darren and got him ready for his nap. By the time she’d rocked him to sleep, the other children were sprawled on the school room floor, surrounding the button box.

  The button box was an antique sewing box, upholstered in floral fabric with a wooden latch. All four children could get their hands in it and dig around. Buttons filled it over half full.

  “Remember when Mama made those matching dresses for Vivian and me,” said Ava. “She put these buttons on it.” She strung mother of pearl buttons onto her long string.

  “We had buttons like this on our cowboy vests,” said Danny. He pulled a brass button out of the box and put it on his string.

  “I want one of those, too,” said Ezra, fishing around in the box until he found what he was looking for.

  “I think the brass buttons are from Papa’s overcoat, not your vests. You two still have those vests in the wardrobe. Remember Grandma’s sweater, the one Mama wore until it got holes in the elbows? These buttons are from it.” Ava held up a handful of pink pearly buttons.

  “This one is a heart,” said Vivian. She slid it onto her string.

  Annie listened to the children tell each other one story after another about their mother. They lost track of time and an hour flew by before she realized it. She helped them gather all the buttons and sweep the floor to make sure none had been missed. They put the button box on top of the school room bookshelf.